I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia at the age of 25 just three months, after I was married. I was one of the lucky ones because my doctor suspected fibrositis as it was called then. I know now looking back I had symptoms of fibromyalgia for quite awhile. About 3 years before I was having some tests done but nothing was found. It was thought to be stress because my mother was dying of cancer. My family doctor sent me to 2 rheumatologists, as the first wasn't very helpful or trustworthy. I would say it was a couple or years before I really started to come to terms with it. There wasn't a lot of information in the eighties or early nineties. Later I started to attend a support group regularly, which helped a lot as it gave me information and validation. People just did not understand! I do not know what I would of done without the support of my husband and my mother-inlaw in the coming years.

In the first few years I had a lot of different symptoms to deal with and spent a lot of time running to the doctor when something new came up. I was working as a flight attendant when I was diagnosed. As time progressed I was off sick quite often. Even when I was laid off in the early nineties I was off sick again with vertigo. I didn't work for awhile as my husband and I decided I should take some time to deal with my health however we had a 'grape farm and I did do some work there which was difficult at times. I later returned to work at a new seasonal job which ended up to be a lot more hours and harder work than I thought it would be. I shouldn't have done some lifting and I really believe this led to my excruciating painful myofascial pain in my neck and shoulders. As we had always planned to have children I never considered that fibromyalgia would change this plan even if it did delay it.

In the fall of I994, I became pregnant. I was a little apprehensive about it because I didn't want to gain too much weight for fear it would cause me more back pain. Up until then I was living my life and not letting it stop me from doing too much. I was lucky because the pregnancy went quite well without disturbing my fibromyalgia too much. I had a lot of sciatic pain in the beginning but overall my pain wasn't too bad at all even though it was an extremely hot and humid summer that year. I did a fair amount of swimming and walking. I think the key was I didn't gain too much weight. Towards the end of the pregnancy I felt good and had some newfound energy and I almost didn't want it to end. I was induced two weeks past my due date, the labour was tough and I had a lot of pain in my back however it wasn't too long! I suffered a terrible flare up that night and the bed was pure torture, I hardly slept that night. I did have a healthy baby girl and the happiness I felt helped to get me through it and adrenaline eventually took over. When you have the first child it isn't as bad because you can sleep or rest when the baby does. I thought that newborns just ate and slept but I did not get one of those. My daughter had trouble settling at night for the first few months and didn't sleep much during the day just cat napped. The night feedings were tough but somehow you get through it because you know you have to! We often went back to bed in the morning. I nursed all my babies who put a little pressure on me but it is what I wanted to do. I think the hardest part was carrying the baby in the car seat, this was very painful for my neck, shoulders, and arms.

I knew I was definitely going to have another child but we didn't try until after my daughter Katie turned two. My second pregnancy was somewhat harder which wasn't surprising. You can't rest when you need to and I was chasing a two-year-old. It was more difficult to sleep because of discomfort but I once again was careful with my weight gain. There seemed to be more aches and pains this time. I went late again and was induced. It was very difficult pushing the baby out and felt like I barely had the strength to do it. The flare up isn't as memorable this time but I didn't stay long in the hospital because I wanted my own bed. We had a tough time the first few weeks and all this over-ride the fibromyalgia. I often said he would have been the perfect baby as he was laid back and more content than my first baby however he had a chronic small bowel problem and had gas all the time! I was up until one am most nights. I was lucky because my daughter didn't get up too early. It was exhausting and difficult because I didn't fully understand the problem, which caused me stress and more pain. Somehow we got through it and he did gradually somewhat improve but it lasted until he was about two and a half years old. I found it much tougher on me with my son because boys are much heavier and he grew at a faster rate. It was easier when they were young babies because you are nursing a lot, which forces you to sit and rest. You actually miss those days in some ways.

We had decided that two were enough, we had our boy and girl and knew it would probably be too much for me to do it again. We then bad a surprise that Christmas what I call our gift from God and my bonus baby. This pregnancy was totally exhausting and I was sick a lot that winter catching things from my kids. I spent a lot of time on the couch even though I had planned to do a lot of clearing out clutter and organizing, jobs that I hadn't been able to get done since Matthew was born. This pregnancy was so much more difficult and seemed to affect my fibromyalgia a lot. Again I was careful about my weight not gaining much more than my second. Thinking back to it I would not want to go through it again, I had a lot of trouble sleeping and was very uncomfortable. In alot of ways I did enjoy being pregnant. I was a week late this time but went into labour on my own. I got through it without drugs and I don't think I suffered a flare-up like I did the first time. Of course there were lots of aches and pains, but I was smarter this time I brought an egg crate for the bed. I almost dreaded going home because I knew how difficult it would be to move and I knew I would be on my feet a fair bit. I was blessed again with a healthy baby boy. Right away in the hospital he was suffering with gas but I still didn't think this baby would be like the last. I had hope but unfortunately it only got worse. A lot of time he could only sleep upright against your chest. I went through a lot of sleepless nights and it was so difficult because I still had two other children to look after. When times were really tough my mother-in-law was there so I could get some sleep. My husband also took over a lot of jobs. It has been an exhausting two and half years and I feel bummed out. I know I didn't help myself, sometimes going to bed saying, "I can't do this any more!" I did think many a time that I was lucky I wasn't in more pain and wondered why the fibromyalgia wasn't worse.

Children are a good distraction from pain at times because they are so needy. They can also be so much fun and make you laugh when you really need it. It is amazing to watch them grow and learn so much in a short time. I definitely would not of let fibromyalgia stop me from having children, I would of missed so much in life. It also takes the focus off yourself. I don't let it stop me from doing too much, other than scrubbing floors. I don't really explain a lot to my kids but they are growing up knowing I have limits. My daughter who is eight now asks me some questions about it. It is a constant struggle sometimes to get through the days especially when the weather is at its worst. I know that it will get better as my sleep deprivation improves. My house isn't the way I would like it to be but I do try to save my energy to cook nutritious meals and look after my children. It is difficult once you get behind to catch up because it is such a challenge to keep up to everyday chores. I am lucky my husband has always been supportive and does a lot for the kids and around the house. I see so many people that don't have that. I still go to the chiropractor and massage therapist to deal with the myofascial pain. I know that once I am no longer lifting a toddler this will improve.

I have been the leader of a Fibromyalgia Support Group since the birth of my second child. It has been both rewarding and challenging over the past two years. I do feel the need to help others with the syndrome and show them that you can live a fairly productive life. Life always has its ups and downs. Fibromyalgia is not a death sentence but rather a wake-up call to change your life. I do have my bad days but I always think of all the worse ailments there are. I still have trouble dealing with the fact that it is ignored and frowned upon by others.

I do think I am a good example of how life goes on after fibromyalgia. I try to live my life focused on my many blessings. I stay home to raise my children not because I have fibromyalgia but because that was always my intention.

Rita